Recap on October 8 - October 10

Marriage is Ordained of God

The Family: A Proclamation to the World states that "marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God." In class, we defined "ordained" as meaning confer holy orders upon, power/responsibility, to order or command, and prescribed by God. Thus, this statement means that marriage between a man and a woman is commanded by God, no other marriage will be blessed by God, it has prerequisites, and it is a gift.

Following are some of my notes from class:

• Just because something is legal does not mean it is no longer a sin. Legal sin is still sin!
• the family= a foundation
• it's Christ-like
• it is a Zion in every way
• essential functions of home:
• procreation
• bringing souls back to Christ
• Priesthood
• shelter, food, security
• love (father's different from mother's! <- will be discussed more later)
• teach the gospel, love God, focus on God
• place of refuge
• unity
• sacrifice
• Not having a father in the home is the greatest predictor of poverty.
• Mothers and fathers relate to both genders differently.
• When there is love in the home, Satan is unable to dwell there.
• 25% or more of the Proclamation is about marriage.
• Marriage leads to less selfishness; things become less about me, my, and I and more about us, our, and we.
• Love is less about romance and more about genuine concern for the other person.
• Christ-like love: unconditional, eternal, not dependent on returned love, grows & develops
• sometimes we are blessed to be able to love beyond our natural capacity
• Spencer W. Kimball's marriage formula:
1. Focus on what's most important
2. Great unselfishness
3. Continued courting (express love in unmistakable ways)
4. Live the commandments
• The quality of your family will always be limited by the quality of your marriage.
• The interaction cycle:

• The most difficult trials for young couples:
• showing your love every day
• communicating (1-on-1 talking)
• relying on each other and not their parents
• service, selflessness
• Nothing should ever come between you and your spouse (physically, emotionally, or symbolically)
• Fun fact: women are much more likely to file for divorce than men.
• Women marry expecting change, men marry expecting things to stay the same.
• It's not natural for women to love their husbands more than their children (because children are so vulnerable and require so much care), but the HAVE to in order to sustain their marriage.
• "Magic 5 hours": spend 5 hours a week with your spouse
• 10 sec. kiss every day
• really talking (as friends!), not just business talk
• do something special
• weekly date
• Nurture your friendship with your spouse! (active process, tend to every need)
• Fun fact: the longest "chemical" love (excitement, butterflies) can last is 2 yrs, after that you have to work at loving each other (through service)!

One final note I would like to leave you with about why marriage is ordained of God: it is the foundation for a new family (a quality marriage will provide scaffolding for the family), it helps you develop Godly character (you better understand God through it), it facilitates growth and understanding, and you become one with another human being ("Zion").

I love my family. I love this gospel. And I bare you my testimony that a strong family is truly dependent on a strong marriage. I wish that everyone could understand and apply these principles to better strengthen their marriages and families. One day, I hope to be able to apply them to my own marriage and family. Please take them to heart.