Physical Intimacy

So, I know this is an awkward subject for some people, but it's really important and should be well understood. I'll just stick to the basics though and keep it relatively short.

 The Relationship Attachment Model illustrates the ideal/most stable levels of knowing, trusting, relying on, committing to, and touching that should be seen in a healthy relationship. You should know someone more than you trust them, trust them more than you rely on them, rely on them more than you are committed to them, and be committed to them more than you touch them. (see below)

However, relationships today tend to have much higher touching and commitment than they do the other 3. A more common model American society today may be the exact opposite of the ideal. This causes problems with relationships and has long-term effects on marriages. My professor, Michael Williams, is a marriage and family counselor. He says that quite often, when a couple comes in for marriage counseling, if you look back to their dating history, their problems began at the beginning of their relationship with their RAM. Thus, it is evident that RAMs are very important and we should be careful how we handle our relationships from their initiation.

To finish off, here are my notes from class:

• Purposes of sexual intimacy
• invite children into the world (not a casual act!)
• create closeness
• become "one"
• grow closer to God
•  Being very physical with many people greatly decreases your ability to form attachments.
• it makes it harder for others to attach to you as well (they don't know how serious you are)
• Sexual intimacy is not a race (after you get married); you can take as long as needed for both of you to be comfortable!
• The greatest satisfaction comes in happy marriages & those that have been married for a long time.
•  Being attentive to your partner provides the most satisfaction.
• Focusing on spiritual aspect more than physical aspect helps you draw closer to God.
• It's important to marry a person who is chaste! Being a virgin is not the important part; it's being clean.
• If you're engaged and still feel the need to keep your opposite gender friends, you're not ready for marriage.
• Have clear boundaries!
• Be so loving and so kind that your spouse has no need to look for comfort else where.
• Preparation/overcoming apprehensions: And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment, by Laura M. Brotherson (read before marriage, separate from partner)
• Teaching children: LDS.org - search teaching about physical intimacy

Hopefully you found some of this interesting and helpful. I did and I wish that everyone in the world could understand the sacredness of sexual intimacy. It should only be shared within the bonds of matrimony. It was create to bring children into this world, therefore it should not be "played" with outside of marriage! Anywho, that's my little lecture and that's everything I have to say on this topic.